Alf Nelson's blog

When I was a young boy (around 7 or 8), I got hooked on the world of professional wrestling. As part of a sport programme called ‘World of Sport’, the wrestling used to be shown on British TV every Saturday between 4pm – 5pm (which is why Brit Pro wrestling has an affectionate moniker: WoS). My father was wrestling-mad; he once told me that he would like to have become a wrestler. I could easily imagine him as a welterweight star, probably as a heel, owing to his no-nonsense demeanour and oft-serious personality (he came from a place near Naples, so perhaps an Italian version of Mick McManus).

While he was watching the wrestling with great concentration, I would play with my toys on the lounge floor while throwing discreet glances at the testosterone-charged spectacle that was unfolding on the small screen. To this day, I have no idea why I was not able to watch the wrestling properly with my father. I think back then I hadn’t realised that I was gay and that I was too shy to let on that I found it such a thrill to watch near-naked men frolicking about in the ring. Here’s the funny thing: my father was openly homophobic (which was the very norm in those days), but he always made no secret that he admired other men’s fantastic physiques, in particular bodybuilders’.

When I was around 10, I was given a portable black-and-white TV for my birthday. So, every Saturday at 4pm, I would ensure that my bedroom door was firmly shut (thank goodness I had my own bedroom!) and that the TV volume was muted. (Still, I was reluctant to tell my family about my new-found love of wrestling.) As the wrestling started, my heart would start pounding. There was something about the wrestling attire (particularly the trunks-and-boots look) that I found (and still do) very appealing. Also, while a handsome wrestler in an entrance gown was about to be introduced by a MC, I would wonder what his body looked like and would hope that he would be clad in trunks and boots. Looking back, Johnny Saint was my first wrestling crush: his short, neat hair (which was unfashionable in the 70s), great smile, gentlemanly demeanour, and great physique would make me swoon. Even then, I refused to acknowledge my true sexuality; I was too young to start caring about sex (it can’t be denied that pro wrestling is overly homoerotic, and I suppose in many ways, pro wrestling, especially technical, ground-based wrestling, is akin to two persons making love).

As some members of MF already know, I am hearing-impaired. In the old days, we didn’t have subtitles on TV, nor at cinemas or theatres. But the great thing about watching wrestling is that you didn’t require subtitles for it. Mind you, these days I disregard the subtitles while watching a gorgeous wrestler in action on YouTube!

As I entered my teens, I started imagining other ordinary men and male celebrities wearing pro gear in the squared circle. I remember at school, I had a private crush on my two Physical Education teachers; how I wished they were wrestlers, and I could envisage that they would look terrific in pro gear. But at the same time, I was worried about being gay (in the early 80s, homophobia was still rife and that the AIDS epidemic was just starting). But I was mostly concerned about my ‘unhealthy’ obsession with pro wrestling; I honestly felt there was something wrong with me. There were many people who sneered at the world of pro wrestling. Therefore, I still could not bring myself to share my love of wrestling with anyone else.

Some years later, I was still having fantasies about dressing up in pro gear and wrestling with someone in a safe and sane manner. Thankfully, I stumbled across Meetfighters. To my great relief, I finally realised that many men (and women) were in the same boat (or should I say ring?). It certainly felt (and still does) liberating to be able to tell others who have many things in common with me, wrestling-wise. Thanks to Meetfighters, I have made many friends here and have had so many enjoyable wrestling bouts in the style of WoS. A lot of people here have made me realise that there is absolutely nothing wrong with watching wrestling in any form and that it is totally fine to be donning pro gear. And they have also reassured me that they have no qualms whatsoever about wrestling with a deaf person.

I look forward to making more friends and wrestling for many years to come.